How to Negotiate Without Trying

All the kids have returned to school this week. I see them walking down the street with their backpacks full of new school supplies and it reminds me of my grade 5 teacher, who always said: “There’s no such thing as a bad question!” Asking questions is important. The right questions lead to important information which lead the negotiations in the direction of settlement or agreement.

Sometimes asking questions feels uncomfortable. We don’t want to seem that we’re not in control or we think the questions make us look “dumb”. We shouldn’t feel this way.  Asking questions has so many positive and valuable functions.  For example, if you ask what your opponent needs from the negotiation, you may get an answer that would save you many hours or months of disagreement.  Simply asking, “is that the best you can offer me?” may save you money at a retail establishment or even a job offer.

Why wouldn’t you want to obtain such information by simply asking a question?

Sometimes, the right questions can lead the other party to agree to your terms without any other discussion.  For example, one of my clients was asked to provide information to the other party and he gladly did.  When I asked him if he knew why this information was needed, he didn’t know.  If he asked why this information was important to the other side, he may have gained valuable information about the other side’s interests, even if they didn’t want to disclose it openly.

question mark with speech bubles, vector on the abstract background

With practice, the questions you ask will reveal valuable information about the other party’s interests and values rather than simple numbers being bounced back and forth. Addressing these interests and values builds on the relationship between the parties in a negotiation and allows both sides to come to a natural agreement.

So go ahead and try asking a lot of questions to get to the root of the other party’s interests in your next negotiation.  I think  you will find it eye-opening.

For coaching, training, and general negotiation help, contact us.

Happy negotiating.